Adar the Month of Happiness
By Nalini Ibragimov
It’s interesting that the founding fathers of this country highlighted happiness as one of every American’s inalienable rights. Clearly, there is a natural desire to seek happiness and yet, we so often get confused, distracted and sidetracked by feelings of pleasure.My favorite definition of simcha, or happiness, is the feeling of inner peace and tranquility that stems from knowing that what I am doing is the right thing to do. It is a space where there are no doubts. Simcha evolves when there is absolute certainty that I am doing exactly what I was created to do. It is distinct from fun and physical pleasure. Not that there is anything wrong with those things, they can be wonderful, pleasurable experiences. But they are fleeting, and if misplaced as a goal, then can lead to a feeling of great emptiness. My husband’s grandmother, Liza Leah bat Tzivia, passed onto the next world this past week. She raised five children, had many grandchildren, and great grandchildren (and a great great grandchild!) who loved her and clung to her until the last days of her life. She was a beautiful woman and every time I saw her, she had a smile that lit up her entire face. From where did that smile generate?She was a woman who did not have easy choices to make. She lived in the former USSR with great limitations upon her Torah observance. She married a man she was in love with but let go of certain professional dreams. She married off one of her daughters, giving her the freedom and space to live her life in a different country in a culture where family was everything. And she didn’t see that daughter nor those grandchildren for a dozen years because of government restrictions. When it was time to leave her native country, she left all of her financial comfort, her culture and language to live in a land that would afford her descendants spiritual and economic opportunity. After living in the States for just 5 years, her husband passed away and she was a widow, alone in a new country, for the next 25 years. And yet, she lived her life b’simcha. It wasn’t always fun, nor pleasurable. But it was happy. Because when you live your life knowing that I am doing exactly what I should be, there is no greater joy or satisfaction. It’s a day after Rosh Chodesh Adar, the month that we are supposed to increase our joy. May we each have the clarity to make choices that will put us on a path towards true happiness and joy, until 120. Chodesh tov!